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Rituale Romanum: The Novel Archives

May 31, 2008

A Story

On my old blog, I ran, for a few months, a serialized novel I was writing. My method was to write about 1500 words and excerpt it, once a week, on the blog. The story was an exercise in writing without any pre-planned structure, just letting it go wherever it would.

It was fun, but I lost patience with it, and ended up, 80,000 words in, somewhat less than halfway through what was needed to complete it.

I'm thinking of writing a new one. Same basic premise -- just write what comes to mind, and serialize it here.

Naturally, in that this is a religious blog, it would be a religious story. But a frightening one, involving a good deal of horror, as my protagonist would be a Catholic priest who is somewhat down on himself because his work is giving him problems. Problems of a supernatural kind.

It might be entertaining.

Rituale Romanum: The Novel: Excerpt #1

Well here we go. The first part of the story.

It is my habit, when I am able, to go to confession on Saturdays. It's a habit I formed a few years ago, because it was necessary for my work.

But I haven't worked for some time. It's been, what? Three months now. Three months since I was put on administrative leave.

Three months and a week since I killed the girl.

And three months and six days since my last confession.

I wouldn't have carried around her death on my soul for three months. I asked to see a priest as soon as I woke up in the hospital; about five minutes after I learned she was dead.

The confession was insufficient. I know this. I can feel it in my soul, feel it whenever I try to open the breviary to pray, feel it whenever I say mass, alone, in private, for I would not dare in my current state to say it in public. I can feel that my five minutes spent with Father Mark, the assistant hospital chaplain, a cheery young priest of twenty-eight years old, his face radiating goodness and the love of God, fresh from the seminary, were in no way sufficient.

I spared him the worst, and simply told him that I had let the girl down, had failed her, had failed the church, and she was dead. He'd heard of the circumstances, of course -- the story made the rounds throughout the diocese in a matter of minutes, priests being as fond as anyone of gossip. He gave me absolution; he tried to cheer me up as best he could. But it was pro forma, my heart was not in it; and I hadn't begun the process of self-examination, the terrible trial of self to fully understand where I failed, how I failed, and how my own sinfulness prevented me from giving the girl what she needed. The book Fr. Ricardo had given me explained it clearly enough; the book that had been handed down for centuries, the book which began in the See of Milan, crossed the sea to Baltimore, and which had been in our own diocese for over a hundred years, since our own little New England mill town became important enough to receive a purple hat and a coat of arms all its own. The book explained it in simple Scholastic logic.

The ritual never fails. The failure belongs to the priest.

The failure was entirely mine.

The logic behind it was simple enough; the faded scribblings of an Italian priest in the chapter on Failures referenced the Bible passage clearly enough; it was a verse I had long committed to memory.

"Hoc genus in nullo potest exire nisi in oratione et ieiunio."

Mark 9:28-9. The first recorded failure of an exorcism by the Church.

Father Ricardo had pointed out to me that the newer translations of the Bible missed the last part, the ieiunio. He brought out the NAB translation which we used in Mass every Sunday, which simply translated the phrase as "This kind can only come out through prayer."

"They footnote it of course," he added. "They mention in a footnote that the variant on the text includes the part about fasting. I would simply tell you to remember that St. Jerome did not footnote it. And I will also point out to you what our book tells us, which is that the failure of a priest to observe proper fasting is one of the principle causes of failure. If you fail at an exorcism -- and I pray to God each day that you do not fail, for it will haunt you all your days in ways I cannot make you understand with words -- it will not be because you missed a sentence in the Rituale, recited the wrong psalm, forgot St. Bartholomew in the litany of saints, or ran out of holy water. It will because your own preparation in the days leading up to the battle was insufficient. And that failure of preparation in most cases will not be due to insufficient prayer. It will be because of a lack of fasting."

I was never any good at fasting.

I had thought about Fr. Ricardo a lot in the last three months. How when I came to work for him he was almost completely blind, and walked with a cane in a terrible, crouched shuffle. He had refused assistants for years, and those whom he took on invariably quit after a few sessions, asking the bishop to be reassigned to work that was more congenial. Running a soup kitchen or being the new guy in a parish rectory was not fun work, but it was relatively free from terror, and not so austere as the demands Fr. Ricardo put on us.

When the bishop had assigned me to Fr. Ricardo, he made it seem that I had been specifically requested. He mentioned how well I had done in the seminary in Latin, and that he had an old priest who still did work in Latin, whose eyesight was bad, and who was in need of a young priest to help him with his readings. I didn't realize at the time that I was being sent to Fr. Ricardo principally because the bishop did not like me.

I figured that part out after I was told by Father Ricardo exactly what his ministry was.

That was eight years ago.

Today was a Saturday. I was in civilian clothes, as I was still on leave. I suppose, though, technically, I was not on leave, since the bishop had told me to take a few weeks, and I had not reported in to the chancery. I was not in my own parish, but was in the parish of St. Edward's, an old stone church on the outskirts of the city, built when the neighborhood was still rural. I checked my Rolex and saw that I was on time; it was nearly three thirty, and I'd be coming it and the tail end of Fr. Tim's confessions.

I know what you're thinking. Why do I own a Rolex?

It isn't because I have forgotten my vow of poverty. It's because the Rolex is a Swiss watch, a mechanical watch. It has no electronics in it. This one is more than fifty years old, beat up, scuffed, and probably the cheapest one they ever made.

I wear it because people in my line of work have bad luck with electronics. You set a digital alarm clock, it never goes off. You use a GPS to give you directions to a house, it puts you in the wrong county. You write down your to-do list on a computer, and the next time you open up the file, it's gibberish.

We don't know exactly why that is. I have my theories.

We have even worse luck with cars. Which is why I had walked to St. Edward's.

I came into the church, crossed myself with Holy Water, and genuflected toward the tabernacle. I kneeled in a pew, and said a few prayers while I waited for the light on the wooden confessional stall to indicate that Fr. Tim was free.

June 2, 2008

Rituale Romanum: The Novel: Excerpt #2

After a few minutes, an elderly man exited the confessional, and the light on the confessional box turned green.

I went in to the penitent's stall, and kneeled. I made the sign of the Cross, and through the grill I said "Bless me Father, for i have sinned. it has been a little over three months since my last confession."

I could make out the outline of Father tim's face through the confessional.

"Good afternoon, John," he said. "We've been looking for you."

"We," I asked, "In the sense of 'you and the Lord', or 'we' in the sense of you and someone else?"

"We, in the sense of the bishop and I," he replied. "The Lord knows where you are at all times, and the Lord knows we've been looking for you."

"I've been doing some thinking," I said.

"I understand," he said.

"I note that that was phrased in the singular."

"You note correctly," Fr. Tim replied. "He was considering filing a missing person's report. I convinced him you'd turn up soon."

"Thanks, Tim, I appreciate it."

"Though I did say some prayers to St. Anthony to make sure," he added.

"Well, that never hurts," I said.

"Do you want to talk in the rectory or do you have things to confess?"

"Both," I said.

"Go on," he said.

"Father, in the last ninety days, I have, although I am a priest, failed in my requirement to say mass each day. I believe I've missed mass four times."

"Go on," he said.

"I have suffered from the sin of acedia. I have also gotten drunk a number of times."

"You are medicating the memory. I understand."

"I have also failed to identify where I failed in my last case. I do not know that I have even applied myself diligently to self-examination."

"It is probably still too early, and at any rate, you did not kill her, a demon did," he said.

"You say that as if you believe that," I said.

I could see him turn to me, through the grill. "I do, John. No one thinks you were at fault."

"Father Ricardo might disagree with that," I replied.

"Father Ricardo is dead," he replied. "And he has been for over three years now. Time to face that, John."

"I pray to him, you know," I said.

"And I am certain," said Fr. Tim, "That he prays for you. And assuming he is in Heaven, we can only assume that because of his proximinty to the Lord, he has more power there than he ever did here, and is looking after you there better than he ever did here. In which case, he could not have prevented the girl's death any more than you could. In which case, the girl's death served some purpose in accord with God's ineffable will, which we are obliged to accept, even when we do not understand it."

I considered this for a moment. Tim had prepared this trap for me with some consideration. He was a good friend.

"I've never had this happen before," I said.

"Well, hopefully it will not happen to you again. And if it does, consider a different line of work if you cannot accept the consequences. All of us fail, John. No one is perfect."

I sat in silence for a moment or two.

"Do you have anything else to confess?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Make an act of contrition," he said.

I did so.

“God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace. And I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," he said.

"Amen. Thank you Father," I said.

"And for your act of penance you can come over to the rectory with me. I need your help with a case."

"Now, Tim, that's not fair," I said. "You can't use penance to make me take a case for you."

"I didn't ask you to take the case. I have permission from the bishop to proceed on it on my own, and I intend to do so. Since you were out of the loop, I had little choice. I will be the lead on it. That being said, I want your help, and since St. Anthony sent you to me today, I'm pretty confident I'm going to get it."

"Ok," I said. "You've done the necessary preparation?"

"Of course," he said.

"When are you planning to do this?" I asked.

"Tonight," he said.

I sighed. "Ok, Tim," I said, "But I'm only in this as backup. And don't let the old man know about it."

"My lips are sealed," he said.

June 6, 2008

Rituale Romanum: The Novel: Excerpt #3

Fr. Tim and I left the church, and walked over to his rectory, a small, Victorian-era house. We entered it, and took a flight of steps down to the basement, where Fr. Tim kept his office.

"You have the case file, I assume. Followed the procedure?" I asked.

"No, John, I'm just playing it by ear, winging it," he said in a bemused voice, which took the edge off the sarcasm. "Of course I followed procedure. The bishop didn't even want to proceed at all unless we were absolutely sure, especially given what happened in the last case. He's had his hands full keeping that story out of the press; you can imagine the circus that would descend on us if the details of that got out."

I could only imagine.

We often saw stories in the newspaper about failed exorcisms, of patients being killed by shamans, or well- meaning but profoundly misinformed lay people; of cases where patients were held without water, or beaten to death, by people who thought they were doing God's will. What we did was of a profoundly different kind. Our procedures protected us from charges of sensationalism or abuse; we collected pages of medical and psychological testimony, as well as the results of tests we had devised to differentiate mental illness from possession. A schizophrenic will occasionally let loose a torrent of scatological profanity in a voice that doesn't sound like their own. A drug-addict can overwhelm you with seemingly superhuman strength from time to time.

Very seldom will they be able to levitate; very seldom will they respond to the presence of hidden sacramentals; very seldom are they able to distinguish between Holy Water and tap water. I have been cursed at by mental patients; that is never an occasion for surprise. Frequently the site of a Roman collar will provoke the mentally ill; occasionally it will even provoke muttering from the perfectly sane.

But very rarely will a person curse you in Aramaic, or tell you of sins you committed years ago and had never remembered to confess, or tell you precisely what a relative in another city was doing at that exact moment.

Fr. Tim unlocked the filing cabinet, and pulled out a manila folder.

"Man or woman," I asked him, before opening it.

"A boy of ten," he said.

"Suspected cause?" I asked.

"Well, events started about a week after a sleep-over party that the boy had for his little league team. According to the interviews, they were playing with a Ouija board."

"Anything unusual or paranormal occur that night?"

"No," said Tim. "Some of his friends were making fun of him because he seemed scared of it, though."

"To them, it was a game. To him, it was something different. Is he a sensitive at all?"

I disliked using the word, but it was a fair enough description, and some times, even he new age types got something right. Sensitives are, in their parlance, people who are unusually receptive to spiritual things.

"Not that anyone is aware of. Up until a few months ago, he seemed like a completely normal, happy kid. A better than average student. No reports of visions or him being prescient, or anything. He does have a love for animals. Always bringing home strays, that kind of thing. But nothing out of the ordinary."

I opened the folder, and looked at the medical reports. The boy's conduct had begun to deteriorate. Problems in school. Disrespectful to his teachers, starting fights on the playground. Verbal cruelty toward a disabled classmate. Playing with matches; starting small fires.

The last one reminded me of something.

"Tell me Tim, any foreign languages?"

"French," he said.

"You speak French?" I asked.

"Enough to recognize profanity in it. And some other language I can't identify. Sounds like an American Indian dialect of some kind."

"A dollar says it's Iroquois."

Tim looked at me. "Have you heard of this before?"

"Similar to one of my cases a few years back," I said.

I continued to read the medical reports, and the psychological analysis. One psychologist saw nothing unusual about the boy, just some acting out to get attention.

The other psychologist said that his interview began well enough, but then as he asked him questions beyond mere conversation, the boy's manner and facial aspects had seemed to change. His voice had become deeper, and more worldly. The boy had begun to make fun of him, to respond to his questions dismissively. Then he had begun to respond to questions in French. The doctor spoke French, but only conversationally; the boy began to discuss psychology with him in French that was impressive in its vocabulary and erudition, peppered with remarks so gravely insulting and disturbingly profane that the doctor began to get uneasy. The doctor wanted to hypnotize the boy, because he thought he might be experiencing some sort of past life regression. In looking through his desk drawers for an object to use as a pendulum; he found a small crucifix on a chain. When he dangled it in front of the boy and asked him to focus on it, the boy became deeply agitated, and began to curse violently. The doctor also noted that the room began to grow cold. He first thought that it was his imagination, but he began to see his breath as he exhaled. The doctor said that it seemed like a more or less classic case of demonic possession according to the literature on the subject, but he would not say so except confidentially. The boy's words to him on concluding the interview were "I shall never let him go."

"Reading the psychologist's report," I said to Tim.

"Pretty discouraging, huh?" said Tim.

"Actually, I was going to say the opposite. The demon used the singular, rather than the plural. We might be only facing one here," I said.

"Could be lying," said Tim.

"Yeah, well, they do that, too. But usually when they are trying to frighten, they like to claim there's a whole bunch of them. It's a matter of pride for them. They invite in all their friends."

"You said you had a similar case?" Tim asked.

"Drive me back to my rectory, and I'll show you the case file."

We drove in the car that Tim's parish had provided for him, Tim at the wheel, with me in the passenger seat reading more of the file.

Tim's notes.

The boy's mother, though not particularly religious, had asked to see her parish priest. She mentioned the boy's symtpoms. The priest asked them to come to Mass that Sunday, and said he would bless the boy, afterward. The boy became agitated as the Mass went on, and during the Offertory, he had began to mutter profanities under his breath, which naturally disturbed the people around them. The boy's mother had to take him out of the church. Afterwards, as the priest had approached him in his stole to try to give a blessing, the boy broke away and began to curse at the priest.

The priest referred the matter to the bishop; the bishop had, since Fr. John was on leave, asked for Fr. Tim, since he had worked with Fr. John and Fr. Ricardo some years before.

Tim ran a series of tests. The boy seemed cheerful enough as they met in the boy's home, and Tim saw nothing unusual at work, until at one point Tim excused himself, and went out to his car. He retrieved a vial of holy water, a third class relic (a piece of cloth that had been touched to the bones of the Cure de Ars, St. John Vianney), and a Bible.

When Tim reentered the house, the boy's manner was completely different. He said to Fr. Tim, "I thought we were going to play nice, priest," and began to curse in French, referring a number of times by name to St. John Vianney, although the relic had never left Tim's pocket and he had not mentioned it to him. The room also had become markedly colder; Tim also had a digital thermometer in his jacket pocket, and it had dropped to 45 degrees.

Tim then took out the Bible, and calmly began to read a passage he had marked with the ribbon. Philippians, 2:1-11.

"Kid freaked out at Philippians?" I asked.

"When I got to the words 'and under the Earth' he physically attacked me," said Tim. "It took both his parents and an uncle to restrain him."

I closed the file.

"So you concur, then?" asked Fr. Tim

I looked at him. "I knew in the confessional," I said. "Just from the tone of your voice. If you had any doubts, you've answered them to your satisfaction. That alone, Tim, is good enough for me."

We pulled into the the driveway for the rectory of my parish. It was on the south side of town, St. John the Baptist, or as the colloquial expression of my old neighborhood had always referred to it, "Southside Johnny," to differentiate it from St. John the Apostle church on the hill. The south side of town was a blue collar neighborhood, once predominantly Irish, now predominantly African-American. In the diocese, Southside Johnny was perceived as being a poor parish. The church was old, and badly in need of repair. The rectory had been broken into a few times. Its collections were generally pretty thin.

The church was poor in everything except faith. It had a school that, despite the failing radiators and the badly patched roof, routinely won spelling bee contests and National merit scholarships where the public school down the road functioned largely as a prep school for the state prison. St. John the Baptist had won the CYO league basketball tournament for so many years in a row that the league's runner-up trophy was proudly displayed by whoever won it. At 9:30 each Sunday, it's mass featured a gospel choir that would have been perfectly at home in an A.M.E. church, followed by the diocese's only Tridentine Latin mass at eleven, with the same choir singing all the responses.

Unlike Tim, I was not a pastor; the church was not mine, but was rather the parish of Fr. Bob Wannamaker, a highly eccentric old priest who could hold all of these seeming contradictions in his head. Fr. Bob was kind enough to house me, even though I rarely did anything for him except occasionally assist at Mass or fill in for him at a funeral if he was away on retreat. We sometimes had long discussions about the nature of evil; Fr. Bob felt that he confronted the physical weapons of the enemy in his parish -- crime, violence, and drug addiction -- where I confronted the more supernatural weapons of the enemy, dealing with cases of possession and infestations. He felt that there was no real difference between these things; they were simply different tools employed by the same enemy, who absolutely hated humanity and was trying to destroy it in any way he could.

He felt that a lot of priests did not understand this -- that the priests in the diocese, and there were plenty, who did not believe in my ministry -- simply had too narrow a view. He always said to me that there was profoundly more to life than meets they eye; and that priests who denied the reality of the enemy would soon enough come to doubt in the reality of the Lord. He himself had never performed an exorcism or even seen a person who was possessed; but he had seen gangs and the effects of drug addiction, and understood everything I told him of my work in reference to his own. His own parish had not had a case of possession in the time I was there. He occasionally wondered about this, but he said "I guess we have enough enemies already that the Lord sees we don't need any more."

I thought there was a simpler explanation. The demons avoided Southside Johnny because they couldn't stand the sheer amount of love that the parish radiated.

We came to the rectory, and Fr. Bob answered the door.

"John," he said. "Tim. What are you boys up to?" He said it as if he was our father; in retrospect, he was old enough to be.

"I have a case that I've asked for John's help on," said Tim.

"I'm guessing you weren't coming over to play bridge," he said. To me, he said, "You back for good, John?"

"Yes, I am, Bob. Been away on a little vacation."

"You needed it," said Fr. Bob. "Good to have you back."

About Rituale Romanum: The Novel

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to The Virtual Abbey in the Rituale Romanum: The Novel category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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